Finding support. Being married in college is easier than you'd think.

I think a lot of college students don’t know how easy they have it. I know, I know, college is pretty hard no matter what but some students don’t know how lucky they are. There are a lot of students who have their parents to support them financially, and even if their parents don’t pay for everything, they can at least hit them up for a little extra money here and there. I’m not one of those students though, and I really never have been. I have always had to pay my own way; from buying my first car all on my own (a shitty 1989 Ford Bronco II for $1000) to moving out before I turned 18 and paying all my own bills and rent in-between. Although in many ways I am proud that I have been so independent, I would have loved to trade places with many of my friends who seemed to have it so much easier than me. Looking back now, I recognize that having parents in less than imperfect situations has shaped me into who I am today and I am happy with that person. If I could go back and change how things were for me, I wouldn’t, but back then I couldn’t see the big picture and really struggled at times. I have always had to work to have anything and therefore I was taught a good life lesson early on but one that made other areas of my life challenging. School for example seemed to always be one of those challenges. Going to college is like a job in itself with all the time and energy it takes up.  Working enough to pay all my bills and rent and going to school fulltime can feel crazy. There are just not enough hours in the day or days in the week to make enough money and/or get homework done and study. And even when I have been able to tweak my schedule just right so that I can do it all, the quality of one or both often suffers. I was always envious of students who didn’t have to work or only had to work to have spending money. I mean, really, it would have been so much easier to get up and go to class and to do my homework if that was my only job!        Basically, being alone and independent makes going to school, along with a lot of other things, difficult. So when people say to me that it must be hard being in college and married at the same time, I feel like I have an obligation to tell them differently. Being in a strong, solid, and healthy relationship has made going to school an option again and having my husband’s support and help has made going to college so much easier than it has ever been for me before. Before we ever got married and from the very beginning, Carlos has made my life easier. Being married has just locked it in. Its given me permanent security knowing that we will always be there for each other.      I can no longer take credit for paying my own way. I work, a lot, and go to school fulltime, but I am not alone and independent anymore. My husband is my partner in life, and that means I don’t have all the stress on just my shoulders. Carlos shares the load with me, and when I am short on gas or my insurance needs to be paid and Im broke till Friday; my husband helps me! What’s his is mine and vice versa and I cannot tell you how comforting it is to have someone like I have him. I had taken two years off school because I couldn’t afford to pay rent and go to college, and not only did Carlos help me financially so that we could afford for me to go back, but he encouraged me to return because it is the best thing for OUR future. He is always there for me emotionally when I am having a bad day or when I am completely overwhelmed by homework and assignments. I don’t think I would have returned yet, if at all to college, if I hadn’t met Carlos and developed the relationship that we have.      Students who have parents who act as financial and emotional support for them while they’re in school might not be looking for those traits in a potential boyfriend or girlfriend or husband or wife. I wasn’t looking for someone to make my life easier when I met my husband, I just got extremely lucky that he did. He helps me and is there for me, and I am there for him in different ways. We can always call on eachother and I am so very thankful to have that for once in my life. Anyone who has that kind of connection and is able to find true support somewhere should be thankful. I am no longer envious of those other students and the “easy” life it seems they have. I am just happy to have found someone who is happy to help support me; financially, mentally, and emotionally. And I am happy to be able to give my support in return.